Because I live with chronic illness (MS) and have been so affected by it (gradual quadriplegia), it has been one of my greatest teachers. I share those lessons with others. It’s the music I’ve been given to sing so I offer it. Each month, I think about our theme and how it relates to illness. This month’s theme is love.
Because I am ill, I have a deeper understanding of what Buddhists call “impermanence.” We humans have a habit of assuming that life is solid and stable. What’s true today will be true tomorrow. Impermanence reminds us that nothing lasts. Everything arises, abides, and dissolves. No exceptions.
In the dominant Western culture, we pretend that we each know what will make us happy and all we have to do is go out and get it. Into this tidy world a serious diagnosis lands like a tsunami. Suddenly our plans must change. We don’t know what’s next. Illness is often unpredictable, so we sometimes can’t have plans. Not only are we experiencing erratic physical symptoms, but the grief and anger that accompany them leave us overwhelmed.
But into that chaos come glimmers of grace. A friend calls us on the phone. The sunshine falls through our window. A cat comes to snuggle. Pain lifts. We don’t take things for granted anymore.
Relationships take on new importance. Because we have suffered, we understand others’ pain and are more available to them. Listening leads to deeper empathy and love.
“Understanding impermanence makes it possible for us to regard all beings with love and compassion,” writes Chokyi Nyima Rinpoche. “Genuine love and compassion are not intended only for certain individuals, groups, or categories of beings. Genuine love and compassion embrace everyone.”
The suffering and unpredictability of illness brings us appreciation for life’s gifts and preciousness, including our fellow travelers.
May you notice those glimmers of grace.
In your journal:
- Describe a time of overwhelm.
- Keep a gratitude journal to record those glimmers.
- Is the idea of impermanence helpful? Can you find examples?