This month, I am focusing on appreciating blessings.
Sometimes, in the midst of illness, it’s hard to find a way toward gratitude.
In a video produced by the International Progressive MS Alliance, Caroline Sincock, a woman diagnosed, as I am, with secondary progressive MS said, “the progression of the MS is something which is tireless and daunting.” What beautifully British phrasing! I have often use the word “relentless” to describe the march of MS through my life. “Tireless and daunting” seems more elegant (though perhaps it’s the British accent.)
From dictionary.com:
So there we are: overcome with fear, discouraged and disheartened –All of that in one word!
How can we interrupt that drumbeat of fear? How can we recover from that discouragement?
Trying not to think about it doesn’t work well. Pushing against fear and discouragement may make them stronger. Trying not to feel things is a good recipe for depression. So what, then?
Sitting in meditation, I let my thoughts and emotions be what they are. I make space for them without judgment. I am practicing being gentle with myself. Sitting here in the midst of my life, my sense perceptions open wide. I am practicing being present. In this moment, my body is as it is. Fear falls away.
Right now, the world is filled with beauty. Sitting in beauty, my heart opens with gratitude.
A thousand thanks, Kate! I am in the midst of a major life change in behavior. I have been hurrying and worrying all of my life since being diagnosed in 1973 with a serious and persistent mental illness, (that of Manic depressive disorder.)
I have been trying to mitigate those two pesky things, (Hurry and Worry,) and have recently been working to enter into a state of “Living in the Present
Moment” as fully as I can….Of course I have been meditating re all sorts of Gurus about that, (Tich Nat Hahn, Eckhart Tolle, Chogyam Trumpa, John Kabat Zinn, et al for about ten yrs! Yet success has eluded me……Your recent newsletter, re the importance of “paddling hard” to effect change and this one have been of IMMENSE HELP! (Guess I will have to add you to my list of Gurus!)
I have been working on spending whole days with a slowness, and deliberate attitude toward my life and my disorder. A mantra I have been using I got from the Receptivity page in the I ching, “Proceed gently and with Balance” A second use of a new mantra, I use with the “Three Conscious Breaths” so often suggested to provide Mind-Body Connection. Instead of “I know I am Breathing In, I know I am breathing Out, I speak in my mind, (and often out loud,) Breathe in Love, Breathe out Gratitude”
These efforts are a “two-step-forward, one-step back” operation, and have recently been accompanied by unreasoning severe fears, (brief and only twice in the last week,) and an irritability which I attribute to my mental disorder. But there is nothing like falling 7 times in 2 & 1/2 months to claim my attention for the need for change! I plan to forward your piece with my, (Very lengthy,) comment to all my concerned and suffering friends and family
Thank you, Pat. I am honored by the company! You are a blessing, to me and many others…