Before writing this post, I listened to
JOY-LAB PODCAST #183. Reduce Fear and Worry with Gratitude
Psychologist Aimee Prasek tells the story of picking up her six-year-old daughter to go to the dentist. The girl said her tummy felt a little sick and then realized that she was feeling scared about the appointment.
In this case, Prasek and her daughter talked about gratitude and all the things they are grateful for when it comes to and the dentist’s office. As I listened, I imagined them talking about smiling, biting, chewing, kind people, toys.
Prasek asked her daughter how her tummy felt. She said her tummy was excited to pick out a toy. She talked about her tummy as though it were a separate character.
Prasek thought about “the observing self.” If you can get in touch with that part of yourself that watches what you are thinking and feeling, it helps you be aware and understand your options.
With her mom’s help, Prasek’s daughter successfully used gratitude to reduce her fear.
Psychologist Henry Emmons suggests that fear is at the root of all other unpleasant emotions. Envy is the fear of not measuring up. Worry is fear of what will happen in the future. When fear becomes stronger, we call it panic.
We want to learn to respond to fear with gratitude. Even better, we can learn to go upstream in the process and stop fear before it starts.
Fear, Emmons believes, begins with our insecurity. We believe that we are not enough, that we won’t have enough, or that we won’t be safe. Nurturing gratitude goes right after these beliefs. They are not true, but we repeat them to ourselves so often, we believe they are. It’s not that gratitude challenges these beliefs, it simply replaces them with something more real.
Survivors of early-stage breast cancer participated in a six-week gratitude course to assess how that would affect their fear of cancer recurrence. They had a significant decrease in their fear of dying. They also showed an increase in their ability to “pursue meaningful goals.” They were more able to take meaningful, smart action to nourish and support their well-being.
Emmons described the “fear of being irrelevant” often experienced by people nearing retirement. Rather than worrying, imagine practicing gratitude. You might keep a gratitude journal. Perhaps you could write about the gifts your career has brought you, the skills you have developed, and you might want to use what you know to contribute to your world. With retirement, you are freed up to do what gives you a sense of meaning, purpose, and pleasure.
PRACTICE
- Be aware of your physical sensations.
- Name the emotion(s) involved. Are they variations of fear?
- Identify what makes you feel grateful. What’s going well?
When you are feeling fear, worry, anxiety, or even panic, try listing the things for which you feel grateful.
CONCLUSION
Fear is an emotion that can be navigated. You don’t have to attempt to be fearless.
If you meet fear with gratitude, it can lead you to feelings of purpose and strength that can nourish your well-being.
Starting with gratitude can lead to joy.
IN YOUR JOURNAL
- What gifts is this stage of your life bringing to you?
- What skills are you developing?
- What contributions are you or might you make to your world?