[in preparation of this blog post, I listened Joy Lab episode 152]
“Take a walk and look at things the way you saw them when you were 12 years old,” a writing teacher once suggested. When I was 12, I was reading fantasy novels. Walking with the view of my younger self, the world was full of magical possibility. Any moment, I might be visited by a down for the creature from Narnia or the shire.
You create your world by the way think. If you think the world is a beautiful magical place, you are more likely to see it so. If you consider life a boring, unending slog, it will be.
Psychologist Henry Emmons uses the metaphor of a grassy field to explain the concept of neuroplasticity. Walk across the grass once, your foot prints disappear. Walk across the grass in the same place over and over, the grass becomes a path. Walk too m go down for any times, and the path becomes a rut.
Our thoughts work similarly. We might be thinking in positive ways that support us, or we may be indulging in “stinking thinking” that brings us down.
“Imagine that you realize you have created a negative path with your thinking,” Emmons said. “You can decide to change it. Every time you go down that path, you can choose to reframe it. If you do that long enough, you are going to essentially see that pathway disappear.”
Curiosity is the key. Curiosity is a way to drive your brain in more positive direction.
As with so much of life, a moderate amount is good. You don’t want to think too rigidly or too chaotically. A rigid mind sees things as right or wrong and is associated with increased risk of depression. Go overboard the other way and you forget to buy food or pay the bills.
“Let’s strike a balance,” Emmons suggests “ between healthy seeking and constant distraction, restlessness, or dissolution.”
mons sees this as “good stress.” The new neural pathway will develop and the stress will dissolve.
Curiosity means there is always more to learn.
Looking for models of healthy curiosity? Watch toddlers and dogs. When you were learning to walk, you didn’t get frustrated with your frequent falls. You just tried it again, with a grin. Dogs lead the way, sniffing from one new scent to the next.
Instead of being worried about how things are going to turn out, be curious. “When we approach life that way, it becomes a training ground for being in the moment,” Emmons said.
“I think curiosity is our friend,” writes author Elizabeth Gilbert. “It teaches us how to become ourselves and it’s a very gentle friend, a forgiving one, and a very constant one. Creative living is choosing the path of curiosity over the path of fear.”
In your journal:
- what did you wonder as a-12 year-old?
- What questions do you have now?
- “What if…?”