Buddhists have a slogan: “no hope, no fear.” Both hope and fear yank us us out of the present moment and move us into an imaginary future. Whether we see sunny skies or black clouds depends on a variety of causes and conditions, from genetic predisposition to whether someone gave us a hug today.
Frank Berliner describes the dance between hope and fear. “We hope that we will survive, and fear that we will perish. We hope that we will succeed in our worldly aims, and fear that we will fail. We hope that we will find love, and fear that we will be left lonely and bereft. We hope that we will become enlightened, and fear that we will ultimately find that life is empty and meaningless. “
When I was first diagnosed with MS, I hoped I would have a mild case and feared the disease would rob me of everything I held dear. I remember lying in my hospital bed imagining a very dark future. Forty years later, almost everything that I feared happened. I am now quadriplegic with a bunch of unpleasant symptoms and treatments.
Try not to get hooked by hope and fear. Find the middle way,” advises Buddhist teacher Pema Chödrön. “Hope and fear come from feeling that we lack something; they come from a sense of poverty. We can’t simply relax with ourselves. We hold on to hope, and hope page robs us of the present moment. We feel that someone else knows what’s going on, but that there’s something missing in us, and therefore something is lacking in our world.”
(Pema Chödrön, When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times)
When I imagined my miserable future, I thought that with significant physical disability would come anguish and abandonment. Instead I have friends and family that love and support me and (thanks in part to the Buddha Dharma) I find joy and beauty around me.
The middle way for me has been to dwell as much as I can in the present moment. Right here, right now, all is well. When I am aware of my sense perceptions,. I feel grateful. With gratitude comes joy.
In your journal:
- what’s your version of the dance between hope and fear?
- How do you stay in this moment?
- What’s on your gratitude list?