Home from the hospital, Big Emotions assail me.
I cannot do what I once did. I grieve the loss. I rage over the loss.
What to do with this grief? What to do with this rage?
When I was young, I would have pretended they didn’t exist. I was raised to believe a sign of adulthood was not having emotions. Dramatic soul that I am, I felt ashamed to feel. I grieved my grief. My rage enraged me. My shame deepened.
I still respond that way, but only for a moment. I have learned…
I have learned that while emotions are real, they are not The Whole Truth.
I have learned to open space for these emotions.
“Breathing in, I see myself as space; breathing out, I feel free.” (Thích Nhất Hạnh)
Picture: ESO/T. Preibisch / Rex Features
In the images from outer space, I recognize my inner space – mysterious, simultaneously cluttered and empty, nebulous.
In the spaciousness, I find beauty.
In the spaciousness, I find peace.