Kind promise: I will share strengths.

tired-blessedI often find myself feeling “sick and tired” these days. Sick and tired is large and loud. It takes up a huge amount of space in my being, often to the exclusion of anything else.

That is why this month’s kind promise is important.

It would be lovely to have sick and tired disappear, but that’s not realistic in my case.  It helps me to remember what’s bigger than sick and tired.

Illness can be part of wholeness. I remember the sense of celebration I felt when I first realized that, if I am chronically ill, I must also be chronically healing. Mystic that I am, I don’t see any contradiction in the thought that I could be simultaneously dying and healing. My body continues to decline while as my soul becomes free.

Last month, “weariness” began to show up on my “Delights of the Day” log. I am finding comfort in weariness. I sink into it as though it were a warm bath on a cold day. I also find delight in the idea of being totally used up by the time I die – worn through so that I am almost transparent. There is a huge sense of blessing that goes with being tired. Tired can be part of blessed.

Here is my math:

whole + blessed > sick + tired

Sick and tired are big parts of my life and sometimes seem to eclipse all else.  When I get perspective and widen my view, I realize that wholeness and blessing are bigger still.  The moon can eclipse the sun, but the sun is larger.