I’ve been noticing, as I am paying attention to love, that lots of feelings of inadequacy are arising in me. I thought that, once I had identified it, it would go away. Unfortunately not. I want to be hugging and cuddling and exclaiming over people and, instead, I’m shrinking back. It’s not that I’m forgetting the ideas – it’s that I am scared about how they will be received. Or maybe I just don’t feel up to the task. Who am I to love people so hugely?
I feel that I am not enough. I suspect that I am broken.
I know that this is not unusual. Many people, in the privacy of support groups and therapy sessions and journals speak of the same feeling. There are whole economies that rely on “not enough.”
If I do nothing else with my life, I am here to say: you and I are glorious in our perfection and in our brokenness. They are not opposites. They make our lives and our lives are sacred.
Who am I to love people so hugely? Marianne Williamson would say “who are you not to?”
How can I reach past my timidity?
The only reasonable solution I can find is to claim loving large as a superpower.
This seems brash. I wrote that and then I immediately thought, “what about turning my will and my life over to my higher power? Don’t I have to say “if God wills it, I will…?” Then I thought, “good grief, Kate! What higher power would not want you to love everybody? This would be this kind of superpower that makes angels dance!”
Ahem, so, from this moment on, I claim the superpower of Spreading Universal Unconditional Love. I love everyone. I love them so much it emanates from every pore. It drips from every word. I look at people and they suddenly feel loved, sure of their place in the universe and energized to be love spreaders themselves.
There. Easy peasy.