Practicing compassion with lovingkindness meditation
Last month’s theme was love. This month’s theme is compassion. What’s the difference?
Love is a deep affection for someone or something, born of connection to them. Compassion is a broader feeling of concern for anyone experiencing suffering, including strangers.
We understand suffering most easily thinking about our own difficulties.
Buddhism gives us a form for practicing compassion towards yourself and others called lovingkindness meditation. It is also called metta meditation. Metta, a Pali word (Sanskrit Maitrī), signifies loving-kindness, universal goodwill, and benevolence towards all beings, including oneself.
The story is that the Buddha taught this form of meditation to his disciples when they tried to meditate in the forest and were disturbed and frightened by three spirits and earth devas. He predicted it would calm them down and make them more lovable.
Benefits
Psychologist Jo Nash says the scientifically-proven benefits of lovingkindness meditation include:
- reduced self-criticism
- enhanced well-being
- reduced cellular aging
- reduced pain
- greater resilience
- improved relationships
- improved mental health
Technique
Sharon Salzburg has a video explaining and demonstrating lovingkindness meditation.
Here is how I practice:
- Think of someone who you love. Sink into your warm feelings about them. Think: “May you be safe. May you be strong. May you live with joy. May you be peaceful and at ease.” (You can tweak the sentences to make them work for you.) As you think, you picture the person experiencing all those qualities. I often picture them surrounded by light.
- Do the same for yourself. Imagine that person looking at you and wishing you well. Join them, thinking “May I be safe. May I be strong. May I live with joy. May I be peaceful and at ease.” Again, picture yourself experiencing those qualities.
- Do the same for a neutral person, like a store clerk, or someone you see, but don’t know well.
- Do the same for someone you find difficult to be around. (Classically called “an enemy.”)
- Do the same for all beings. May all beings be safe. May all beings be strong. May all beings live with joy. May all beings all and at ease. Now the whole planet and out into the universe is surrounded by light.
Take a moment to bask in the warmth and light of lovingkindness.
I have been doing lovingkindness practice for a dozen years. I feel calmer and more connected.
Give it a try and see what it does for you.
In your journal
- What is the difference between love and compassion?
- What phrases would you choose for metta meditation?
- How do you feel after you have done lovingkindness meditation?