It’s easy to be grateful when things are going your way. The sun is shining, the birds are singing, your family is healthy and happy, your bank balance is glowing, and you feel on top of the world. “Yay God,” you might say, if you are that kind of person.
When you or the people you love are sick, depressed or in danger, though, gratitude is more difficult. You might be more likely to “hold a pity party.” It feels unfair. You feel angry and heartsick and any prayerful conversations you might have are not celebrations. Stony silence feels appropriate.
The Christian Bible advises you to give thanks in all circumstances (Philippians 5:18). Crazier still, it suggests you give thanks for all things (Ephesians 5:20). Give thanks for heartbreak? It seems impossible.
Maybe Buddhism has something easier to say. “In Buddhism, gratitude is a central part of spiritual practice,” writes the Google AI overview. “The Buddha taught that people should count their blessings each day, even in times of stress.” It goes on to describe chanting monks “embracing all aspects of life, including challenging circumstances.”
It turns out that most (all?) spiritual traditions include gratitude practice in hard times.
Okay, HOW?
Self-help author (and Christian) Shauna Niequist gives us a clue: “When life is sweet, say thank you and celebrate,” she writes. “And when life is bitter, say thank you and grow.”
Difficult times force us to move beyond our comfort zones. They wake us up. We try something new and thereby gain new wisdom.
Experiencing pain helps us become more compassionate to others who have similar stories.
“Deep sadness because nothing lasts,” summarizes Chokyi Nyima Rinpoche. “Great love because all beings are my beloved family. Lucid openness because this ordinary mind is full awakening. Sheer joy because all this is true.”
In your journal:
- Describe a difficult time. What happened? How did it feel?
- How did it increase your compassion for others in that circumstance or who felt those emotions?
- What did you learn?
- Did any good come out of it?