The kind promise for the month is “I will share my strengths compassionately.” That might mean:
- Remembering your own brilliance.
- Encouraging someone else to shine.
- Offering to do something you are good at and/or that comes easily to you to meet a need you see in the world.
- Holding back and letting someone else have a chance to offer their gifts.
- Assessing your own energy and workload before volunteering.
- Renegotiating promises as needed.
I am tired today, but I usually write blog posts on Wednesdays (which is today). I enjoy writing, but because of my weariness, I am giving myself permission to use bullet points today. I am also expanding the journaling section to give you a chance to consider how you might offer your gifts.
What have I missed? Please let me know in the comments section below.
In your journal:
- What do you love doing? What makes your heart sing?
- What comes easily to you?
- What are your skills and talents?
- What training or experiences make you unique?
- What has been your experience with volunteering and setting boundaries?
- Write about a time when you volunteered and felt good about it.
- Write about a time when you volunteered and it didn’t go well.
Kate, you are so insightful in noting that compassionate sharing of our strengths also involves encouraging others to shine and holding back or making space for others to shine.
Growing up as a male in an individualistic society, I too often thought I had to “fix”problems rather than encouraging and creating space for others to help or engage in self-help. Needing help as a male was a sign of weakness. I am gradually learning to be more vulnerable, a better listener and less of a “fixer.”
As a perfectionist, I often think, “I can do it better and quicker” so I need to step in and take over. This turns out to be pretty demeaning and unhelpful whether in my marriage or in other relationships. I am learning that there are usually many ways to accomplish tasks and mine may not even be the best. And being quicker is often a recipe for screwing up in my experience.
Thanks for your thoughtful comment, Steve. It’s tricky. Sometimes I do lean on males to solve the problem because the men I am around are good problem-solvers. (For a look at the lighter side, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-4EDhdAHrOg ) I am learning to ask: how can I let people shine and move into a deeper relationship?