Kind promise: I will love without keeping score

PaintingLove blooms when it is given time and space. It’s so easy, in our culture, to think we should be about getting things done. We move from one oxytocin rush to another: read this email! Look at this post! Check this checkbox! Do and do and do as quickly as we can.

You have something to tell me? I will half-listen as I keep an eye on the scroll from my phone.

I am feeling down today? I won’t tell you, but let me distract myself with a video of a kitten, a crime show on TV, another cup of hot chocolate. I have no time for feeling down.

And what we really need is to look into each other’s eyes, move through the requisite small talk, drop below the hubbub and move into sacred space together.

How can I invite you there? Some guesses:

  • speak more slowly – get the conversation rate down
  • allow silences
  • risk saying something that shows my vulnerability
  • listen to you actively
  • lower lights
  • include beautiful fragrances, flavors and background noise

As I make this list, it almost sounds like I am trying to seduce someone. I can’t make you love me, but I can help create intimacy.

Let’s seduce each other.